so i realize that i come to this blog maybe once every 3-5 months.
yes, i know.
there are two potential rationales for this.
one is that my life is beyond boring and i really don't have anything to talk about.
the other is that my life is SO eventful that i don't have TIME to talk about it.
i am still contemplating this.
but for right now i will substantially, yet briefly (is that an oxymoron or just a juxtaposition?)
express what has been going on in my mind.. and well, my life.
as of last quarter i decided to transfer schools to la sierra.
i get the same question over and over again "WHY?"
that is a very good question, but at the same time very difficult answer.
i guess this is because i have no reasoning towards the decision.
it's actually just something i felt would be best for me.
not going to lie, i am very excited, other than the thought of leaving my friends.
i will miss them immensely.
there is a boy in my life.
sometimes i wonder why when hearing this the automatic assumption is
"so you're dating someone."
no, i am not dating anyone nor am i "talking to" anybody.
when i say there is a boy in my life,
i am referring to the person i feel closest to at this moment.
the person who keeps me motivated on most days.
the one who i am able to express myself in detail to without hesitation.
and not only that, but the guy who knows me better than anyone else.
as you can see, i have much appreciation for this person.
i think the one thing that really convinced me of our LONG-LASTING friendship is this:
when i have a "problem" in my life or have something i need to vent about,
he doesn't sit there and feel sorry for me or give me sympathy.
(although that's something we all kind of fish for at some point)
instead he tells me, no things WILL change and pushes me out of my slump.
instead he gives me a reality check.
INSTEAD, he doesn't hold back and tells me what i NEED to hear, not what i WANT to.
i see it as a "pull yourself together and deal with it."
that's not something you get from every other friend.
honestly, i could go on and on about this topic,
but for now i'll leave it at that.
we all need a "best friend" in our lives and i'm lucky to have found mine.
i love ending my days with being myself with him.
and i will do my best to not lose it.
in fact, i myself will never lose it.
it's going to be up to him whether or not there will ever be an end.
i pinky promise.
my next topic kind of goes off on a tangent on the previous one.
i tried to rekindle a couple of friendships recently with people i've lost.
this is something i hear a lot "elissa knows everyone" "you're friends with everyone"
it may seem this way but i tend to have a bad habit.
i distance myself from some of the most important people in life at a certain point.
yes, it has happened rather consistently unfortunately.
and i HAVE told the one i talked about in the last paragraph thing.
i am on a mission to not let this happen again. i can't afford that.
in fact, i am not going anywhere.
if that friendship were to ever end, it'd be because that person chooses for it to, not me.
BUT back to the people i have tried to make amends with.
there are two former friends i had that, in all honesty, were the cause of lots of heartache.
i unintentionally lied for them, defended them, and lost friends because of them.
at first, i was convinced that i didn't care because these two were all i needed.
i came to the conclusion, after lots of sadness and stress, that i was wrong. VERY WRONG.
although i tend to have this "habit,"
i am also not the type to like conflict. i avoid it as much as i can.
and this is the only friendship that had subsided badly.
so with this conscience i have been blessed/cursed with,
i tried to fix things. make things right.
in a way, i guess this is all due to selfish intentions.
i had decided that if i were to die right now,
i'd have no regrets except for this.
and that was not something i wanted to live with.
but of course, this all backfired.
i received blame, frustration, and lack of compromise.
it's what i deserve i guess, but it was a little painful.
i did my part though, and i can't dwell on it anymore.
i've been privileged enough to find people that WILL look past my flaws,
and for that i could not be more grateful.
i FINALLY renewed my disneyland pass.
PRAISE THE LORD.
it had been over 7 months since i had one and for me, that's torture.
but i was away for college so i guess it wouldn't have done me much good anyways.
i plan to make very good use of it though.
i don't have any money to waste, right?
so take full advantage of this opportunity!
i am avoiding facebook for the time being.
this is kind of my very own "detox."
people keep telling me to go back on,
but i think that's like being tempted with alcohol for an alcoholic.
i need to overcome this urge before i can safely get back to it.
i'll be back by the time school starts though. :)
other than all of this, my life is pretty boring.
hanging out with friends and family here and there.
taking more insight on my life and what i need to do in order to grow in all aspects.
to sum it all up, my life is amazing.
i could not ask for anymore and i have nothing to complain about.
THANK GOD.
hopefully i'll remember to update this more.
it will probably be good to have as a reminder of what my life was like later in the future.
i love blogging.
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