expectations.

one thing i've learned over the last few weeks:

no expectations= no disappointment.

i KNOW i've always been one to fall for words rather than actions.
that has never been a good thing, i guess.
i just really thought that it'd be different this time,
but i should have known better than that.

i don't blog but i just need a way to be honest with myself.
there needs to be something that can be a reminder of my stupidity.
it's a good way to relay experience into the future.
and this is only because the best thing to do with situations like this is learn from them.

i honestly don't know WHAT to think.
then i jump to the conclusion that it's me that needs to change.
i'm not saying it's not true,
everyone has space to make changes.
but it's one thing to change, it's another thing to fix.

what if i'm just being overly sensitive and dramatic?
that is actually a huge possibility seeing how i tend to jump to conclusions easily.
my friend sarah told me "don't stop caring, just don't care as much."
that's not easy for me though,
i give the people in my life my all.
it's either all or nothing. and usually it's all.
i believe that it's my God-given gift to genuinely love others.
which is why i feel that i chose the right major.
it's a gift, but i'm starting to think it's also a curse.

........ this is where i stopped as i noticed the news about the tsunami in Japan.

after i started reading about this and watching it on the news,
i realized how selfish i was being.
first of all, this hit me hard because i have so much family there.
also, i met SO many new friends over there this summer during my mission trip.
i mean i'm complaining about boys, friends, "drama"
and there are people across the ocean working to keep their lives.
i felt so embarrassed and ashamed.
it made me happy though to see all these
people coming together in prayer for one purpose.
that really touched me.
then AJ Rafael posted a video dedication to Japan.
it hit me hard and i definitely teared up.
i'm just hoping all these people i love are okay.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0wGZv6Gjs0&feature=feedu

Elissa, remember. sometimes it may seem like you're going through hell,
but in reality, your life is amazing and you're so blessed.